Apologies

Hey guys. I know I said that I would post up something every week. Im sorry that I havent. I stopped becuz I didnt have the time or resources and mainly becuz I was told that my boyfriend's mother was reading my blog (Hello Ms. Miller) and making the wrong assumptions about me. But now that I have the resources again, I'll be posting when ever I can, no time limits, so if anyone beside my bf's mom reads this, you'll just have to keep an eye out for any new post. I doubt anyone reads this besides the 2 or 3 friends I know on here. But if anyone does read this, thanks for taking interest. These post may just be the inner workings of my head coming out to say hello but im glad that I can get everything off my chest every once and a while. Ta-ta for now guys. ^_^

Here's That Poem I Was Talking About

You


I gotta admit, when I first met you, I didn’t really pay attention. All I really thought was, “Gosh, he has a big nose.” But as the year went on, and changed into the next, I started to notice you. And I could notice, that you were noticing me too. So I go to this all day thing. You’re there. We spend the day together and you walk me home. We’re hugging and looking at each other. Then you say something I can’t quite hear. I think I'm going crazy, cuz I think I just heard you ask, “Can I kiss you?” I’m thinking this can’t be real, so I dumbly ask, “What?” You immediately say what back, and then you kiss me. My first kiss.



A month goes by and you end it. Saying we barely see each other, which is true. You’re my first boyfriend and you break up with me a week before my birthday. I walked home crying, only later to find out that I was a rebound.



A year goes by and so does a two more boyfriends. We still talk. You walk me home one day after practice. We kiss, but things don’t go beyond that. We’re too busy and things wouldn’t work.



So another year goes by and then a few more month. I'm with someone new. I'm happy even though he gets me mad a lot. We still talk. Then one day you tell me you can’t do this anymore. You can’t talk to me while I'm with someone else because you think you LOVE me. This comes as a shock to me. I don’t know what to do or say. I mean, I can’t break up with my boyfriend just for you when I'm not completely sure how I feel. Can I?



Two days pass. I'm a block away from your house. And I start to cry. I text you, telling you I can’t handle this. I need you in my life in some way, shape, or form. And you agree.



The next day, my boyfriend says something so stupid and gets me so mad, that I break up with him…



That Wednesday, I go to your house and find out and get to feel what love is. And I got to feel that love almost every day that we were together. But then my parents got involved. You see, I was never allowed to date, so we should have never been together in the first place. We both knew that, but we didn’t care. So my parents tell me that I'm never allowed to see you again.



For that entire summer, my heart was crushed. But I slowly got over it. I slowly got over the one guy I ever truly thought loved me.



Summer ends. Its college time now. I'm out on my own and out from under my parent’s control. I'm free to do what I want to do and when I want to do it. The first thing I do, is go see you. We sit by a school and we talk. Then we go to your house. And I go to your house a few times after that. We wind up making out at this one party where no one can really see us. This isn’t what we use to have, but it’s ok, because I have you.



Then a few days after the party, you call me up. Saying that what we’ve been doing isn’t a good idea and that we should stop. I don’t argue. Everything’s cool. Thinking we can still be friends.



Yet another month goes by. We haven’t talked. And I wonder why. You don't respond to my text anymore. I just wanna know why. So I text you with a different number. You actually respond. But when you find out it’s me, you’re mad. I ruined your day. You tell me that you haven’t responded because you don’t want to talk to me. You say that we were never friends. You did not. And do not like me. And for me not to text you again. WHAT. THE. FUCK. After all the shit that we’ve been thru. After all the pain that was caused. You’re telling me that you never even liked me? Bull Shit! You know what? I don’t give a fuck anymore. You’re not gonna hurt me ever again.



Then a few weeks later, I find out from a friend, that back in September, you had a girlfriend. I was pissed beyond words. So I completely ignored the fact that you existed.



Months go by. I've forgiven and let go. Haven’t seen or talked to you. Not even a thought in my mind. I'm starting to get my life back in order. Just letting go of the baggage of bull shit that I've been carrying form the past year. I'm finally begging to be happy again.



So I'm texting a friend. Everything’s cool. We’re catching up. Then they ask me if I've talked to you lately. My heart freezes. I say no and wind up telling them the whole story about why we don’t talk anymore. Only to find out that you told them the exact same thing. With one difference. You told them that you found no point in talking to me anymore and that you felt like you were using me. All I could think was, “Damn right you were using me!... But I don’t care anymore.” I'm told that you’re not doing so good. I text you the next day. Telling you I hope you’re okay.



A few days later, I go to this thing. You’re there. And then I find out that you wrote a poem. You don’t even know that I'm there, and I'm standing there listening to this poem, only to realize that it’s about me. How the hell are you going to write a poem about me after I send you one little text hoping you’re okay??? But at the same time, I gotta admit, even though I haven’t seen or spoken to you, that when I saw you, I still smiled, and my heart angst a bit. The truth is, after everything we’ve bee thru, we just don’t fit.

New Beginnings ^_^

So, over the past year, my life has been filled with one shit storm after another. It all started a year ago today, when I started dating the guy I thought I would love forever. But he broke my heart a month later and left me to pick up the pieces by myself. The good thing that came out of that horrible situtation was a best friend, my best friend, Adrian. I had dated Adrian the summer before and we were still friends. When I got my heart broken in the worst possible way, he was there. He helped me thru it all and we grew close. I could not imagine life with out him anymore. I slowly got over that break. Very slowly actually. i just fully and completely got over him last week when I saw and spoke to him. After I did that, I felt like a weight had been lifted. I started to smile again.

This week has just been a roller coaster ride for me. Getting over one ex after another. Yes, there was another ex that was involved in this shitty year. This story is much longer since i've known the guy for almost for years. Well, long story short, this guy broke my heart too, but in many different ways. I thought I was over him until I went to this open mic night that a friend had invited me to. He was there and it turns out that he had written a poem about me. It talked about how he was over me and never needed me in his life. I was seriously upset when I heard it. Funny thing is he didnt even know I was there until I passed by him to give an old friend a hug.

His poem wasnt even that long, but it still effected me. Set my happiness back a little. But the friend I hugged suggested that i go to the next open mic night and let it all out. I intended on reading something I had written before, but Im not sure anymore. I sorta took his advise and wrote a poem to let it all out. Longest poem I've ever written. I'll post it up when I actually type it out.


The poem really helped me with what i was feeling and turned my week back around. ^_^
And to top my week off, I met this really awesome guy thru my roommate, Ellis. I sorta think he's the male version of me. XD lol He's might be coming up here from Georgia and staying with us for a while. I cant wait. >,< Its been a long while since I've met someone like him. Way too long. He's one of the few ppl that I know of that can make me blush. He's the sweetest and nicest guys I've known so far in my life. And it makes me happy just to know him. He's really cute too! XD I hope my life continues on this course its chosen at the present. Im rather enjoying it and i wouldnt want it to change. ^_^


If ya'll want see me preform the poem I wrote, here's the info:
And you dont hav to give a full $5 donation but it will help our community if you do.

Da bitch is bk! XD lol

ANYWAYS!!! XD Its college time ppl!
It been yrs since i used dis thing.
Took me a while just 2 log in. lol
Well, Im bk cuz my roommate wanted me 2 blog.
I only use 2 use dis 4 homework assignment sophmore yr.
Which i barely use 2 do any. ^_^ lol

Twisted

Here is a tragic tale of a twisted individual. She had a murky idea for the conservation of her life. The commencement of a life with no anguish or pain. So one day, she ran to her room as loud as she could and took a porcelain sliver from one of her drawers. She slit her wrist, knowing someone would come, but she cut to deep, which was just dumb. Even dumber, she went to sleep. When she opened her eyes again, she found herself in a valley. She looked down to she the remaining debris of her life, as she stared at herself dying...

Rapunzel By the Brothers Grim

Rapunzel

There were once a man and a woman who had long in vain wished for a child. At length the woman hoped that God was about to grant her desire. These people had a little window at the back of their house from which a splendid garden could be seen, which was full of the most beautiful flowers and herbs. It was, however, surrounded by a high wall, and no one dared to go into it because it belonged to an enchantress, who had great power and was dreaded by all the world.

One day the woman was standing by this window and looking down into the garden, when she saw a bed which was planted with the most beautiful rampion - rapunzel, and it looked so fresh and green that she longed for it, and had the greatest desire to eat some. This desire increased every day, and as she knew that she could not get any of it, she quite pined away, and began to look pale and miserable. Then her husband was alarmed, and asked, what ails you, dear wife. Ah, she replied, if I can't eat some of the rampion, which is in the garden behind our house, I shall die.

The man, who loved her, thought, sooner than let your wife die, bring her some of the rampion yourself, let it cost what it will. At twilight, he clambered down over the wall into the garden of the enchantress, hastily clutched a handful of rampion, and took it to his wife. She at once made herself a salad of it, and ate it greedily. It tasted so good to her - so very good, that the next day she longed for it three times as much as before. If he was to have any rest, her husband must once more descend into the garden. In the gloom of evening, therefore, he let himself down again. But when he had clambered down the wall he was terribly afraid, for he saw the enchantress standing before him.

How can you dare, said she with angry look, descend into my garden and steal my rampion like a thief. You shall suffer for it. Ah, answered he, let mercy take the place of justice, I only made up my mind to do it out of necessity. My wife saw your rampion from the window, and felt such a longing for it that she would have died if she had not got some to eat. Then the enchantress allowed her anger to be softened, and said to him, if the case be as you say, I will allow you to take away with you as much rampion as you will, only I make one condition, you must give me the child which your wife will bring into the world. It shall be well treated, and I will care for it like a mother.

The man in his terror consented to everything, and when the woman was brought to bed, the enchantress appeared at once, gave the child the name of rapunzel, and took it away with her. Rapunzel grew into the most beautiful child under the sun. When she was twelve years old, the enchantress shut her into a tower, which lay in a forest, and had neither stairs nor door, but quite at the top was a little window. When the enchantress wanted to go in, she placed herself beneath it and cried, rapunzel, rapunzel, let down your hair to me.

Rapunzel had magnificent long hair, fine as spun gold, and when she heard the voice of the enchantress she unfastened her braided tresses, wound them round one of the hooks of the window above, and then the hair fell twenty ells down, and the enchantress climbed up by it. After a year or two, it came to pass that the king's son rode through the forest and passed by the tower.

Then he heard a song, which was so charming that he stood still and listened. This was rapunzel, who in her solitude passed her time in letting her sweet voice resound. The king's son wanted to climb up to her, and looked for the door of the tower, but none was to be found. He rode home, but the singing had so deeply touched his heart, that every day he went out into the forest and listened to it.

Once when he was thus standing behind a tree, he saw that an enchantress came there, and he heard how she cried, rapunzel, rapunzel, let down your hair. Then rapunzel let down the braids of her hair, and the enchantress climbed up to her. If that is the ladder by which one mounts, I too will try my fortune, said he, and the next day when it began to grow dark, he went to the tower and cried, rapunzel, rapunzel, let down your hair. Immediately the hair fell down and the king's son climbed up.

At first rapunzel was terribly frightened when a man, such as her eyes had never yet beheld, came to her. But the king's son began to talk to her quite like a friend, and told her that his heart had been so stirred that it had let him have no rest, and he had been forced to see her. Then rapunzel lost her fear, and when he asked her if she would take him for her husband, and she saw that he was young and handsome, she thought, he will love me more than old dame gothel does. And she said yes, and laid her hand in his. She said, I will willingly go away with you, but I do not know how to get down.

Bring with you a skein of silk every time that you come, and I will weave a ladder with it, and when that is ready I will descend, and you will take me on your horse. They agreed that until that time he should come to her every evening, for the old woman came by day. The enchantress remarked nothing of this, until once rapunzel said to her, tell me, dame gothel, how it happens that you are so much heavier for me to draw up than the young king's son - he is with me in a moment. Ah.

You wicked child, cried the enchantress. What do I hear you say. I thought I had separated you from all the world, and yet you have deceived me. In her anger she clutched rapunzel's beautiful tresses, wrapped them twice round her left hand, seized a pair of scissors with the right, and snip, snap, they were cut off, and the lovely braids lay on the ground. And she was so pitiless that she took poor rapunzel into a desert where she had to live in great grief and misery.

On the same day that she cast out rapunzel, however, the enchantress fastened the braids of hair, which she had cut off, to the hook of the window, and when the king's son came and cried, rapunzel, rapunzel, let down your hair, she let the hair down. The king's son ascended, but instead of finding his dearest rapunzel, he found the enchantress, who gazed at him with wicked and venomous looks. Aha, she cried mockingly, you would fetch your dearest, but the beautiful bird sits no longer singing in the nest. The cat has got it, and will scratch out your eyes as well.

Rapunzel is lost to you. You will never see her again. The king's son was beside himself with pain, and in his despair he leapt down from the tower. He escaped with his life, but the thorns into which he fell pierced his eyes. Then he wandered quite blind about the forest, ate nothing but roots and berries, and did naught but lament and weep over the loss of his dearest wife. Thus he roamed about in misery for some years, and at length came to the desert where rapunzel, with the twins to which she had given birth, a boy and a girl, lived in wretchedness.

He heard a voice, and it seemed so familiar to him that he went towards it, and when he approached, rapunzel knew him and fell on his neck and wept. Two of her tears wetted his eyes and they grew clear again, and he could see with them as before. He led her to his kingdom where he was joyfully received, and they lived for a long time afterwards, happy and contented.

--The End--

A Sexist Proposal

For solving Sexism in order to allow both men and women to reach all of their goals…

It is an indescribable to see a woman working unhappily at a drug store, not being ale to fulfill her dream of becoming a lawyer -due to it being a male dominated career- because she would be to emotional in a court room. It is a disastrous thing to see a man on the streets selling drugs because he was that do ballet for a living –even if he could have been one of the best.
They cannot get jobs because they are to dainty or power hungry to work in opposite sex’s profession. These people wined up unemployed and cannot support themselves or their families. They eventually file for unemployment or bankruptcy to make ends meet. This drains our already diminishing economy and raises taxes.
My intentions are to help our society grow and be happy doing this. I have no steak in this at the moment, I only being seventeen. I will one day, and so will your children, and their children, and their children’s children. I am doing this for future generations, so that they can always fulfill their dreams.
When this unsatisfied people become discouraged by their jobs, which many do, they quiet. Their cash flow is gone and they must find a new means to keep afloat. They file for unemployment or bankruptcy to make ends meet, draining our already diminishing economy and so that the economy doesn’t fall we raise taxes.
My proposal will solve the problems of people how were victims of sexism. Lowering the unemployment rate; therefore, less people will file unemployment and stop draining the economy.
In October of 2008, 10 million people were unemployed in America. One percent of U.S. households file for bankruptcy each year, that’s 240,000 households. This, again, raises taxes by seven percent draining our economy even more.
Sexism has be around for centuries and imbedded in the minds of the world. It is highly unlikely that one solution could cure it, because we cannot force any one to think one way. But to solve it, this is the true quest.
I shall now therefore humbly propose my own thoughts, which I hope will not be liable to the least objection.
I have heard from a very knowledgeable person, Professor Jane Alemap of Princeton University, that a job quota is highly recommended. Every business will have to hire a specific number of men and woman to meet their requirements.
The process is quit simple. Firstly, we survey employable job to see how many workers they need and how many they already have. Secondly, we survey the unemployed to see if they are eligible to work and see which jobs they wish to have. Thirdly, we place the newly employed into their new jobs and monitor them for 1-3 months. Fourthly, if they do not meet the requirements to hold that job, we place them in a new position.
This process will end people not receiving work due to gender. Thus forth, ending unemployment as well. People will no longer file unemployment and even less file for bankruptcy. Due to lees people filing for these things taxes will lower thus raising our economy.
This is a proposal for solving Sexism in order to allow both men and women to reach all of their goals, for future generations, thus for our future, to now longer be oppressed due to their gender and be ale to follow their dreams.